Egyptian artifact

Originally uploaded by slushgod.

On Friday, I met up with friends David Barr Kirtley and Amy Tibbetts in Manhattan for a little museum action.  We met up outside Penn Station, then trekked over to the Metropolitan Museum of Art via subway.  In the subway, we had a little adventure, as Dave and I tried to figure out our subway maps; a moment of indecision kept us from boarding the train we should have taken immediately (the C train), so we needlessly changed trains a few times, but in the end, we arrived where we’d originally intended.  The stop left us off near the entrance of Central Park, and the museum is on the other side of the park, so we took a leisurely stroll through the park to get there. 

The museum was pretty awesome.  I didn’t realize all of what was at the Met, or else I might have gone there earlier.  For some reason, I thought it was just paintings.  In fact, there’s so much other than paintings, we didn’t even get around to really seeing any.  Well, except for when Dave speed-walked us through a wing of paintings on our way to another exhibit, so we didn’t really get a chance to stop and look at them.  Though Dave seemed intent on doing a lot of speed-walking; for a smart guy, he displayed surprisingly little tolerance for a museum pace which would actually, you know, allow you to appreciate the artifacts and perhaps learn something.  I suppose we’re just lucky that no one has listened to his idea of making a museum in which you can rollerblade or jog through it.  Well, that might be kind of cool, actually; it’s got to be more interesting than rollerblading or jogging around the block.

One instance of our speed-walking was right at the very start as we went through the Egyptian exhibit, though we at least had a good reason: we were looking for the bathrooms.  However, our pace did not deter me from snapping some pictures along the way (click on the above picture to see the complete photoset).  You’re not allowed to use a flash in the museum, because the light can damage the artifacts apparently, but I got some great pictures anyway.  Sadly, I didn’t check my camera’s batteries, and I quickly ran out of power, and the stupid gift shop doesn’t sell batteries (no doubt because they want you to buy their crappy disposable cameras).  Later, I was thinking that I should have asked other museum-goers with cameras if they had any batteries to spare, but I didn’t, so these few pics are all the evidence I have of my trip.

What I really would have liked to photograph was some of the cool armor and weapons we got to see.  (And if I was thinking, I would have tried to photograph the informational plaques beside each of the objects I took pictures of.)  Oh, well; next time.  Truth be told, there’s so much to see at the Met that you can’t see it all in one day anyway, so it’s just another excuse to go back. 

After the museum, we headed out to dinner with Andrea Kail (who just made her first fiction sale, to Fantasy Magazine), Dave’s Odyssey classmate Rob Bland, and Carol Pinchefsky and her husband, Peter.

Things learned on Friday: (1a) tattoos located on the lower back are known as “tramp stamps”; (1b) when a woman’s g-string is visible above the top of her pants, that is called a “whale tail”; (2) the way to impress Hollywood moguls is to drop by their studios with your optionable stories in hand, making a grand entrance on top of a papier mache dragon; (3) museum gift shops are evil.

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First: yes, I’m still going.

Why am I selling my membership then? Because I just scored a press pass via SCIFI.com.

I bought my membership a while ago, for, I think $150. So I’d be happy to sell it for that amount, just to get my money back. Seems like a good deal since memberships are now $200. If you’re interested, please email me privately at johnjosephadams@gmailNOSPAM.com rather than responding in the comments (be sure to delete the NOSPAM part).

My preferred method of payment would be paypal. Hugo voting rights have already been used up (obviously, since the deadline has passed), but whatever else it entitles you to is probably still active (site selection, and I don’t know what else).

UPDATE: Membership sold!

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Sybil’s Garage, a zine put out occasionally by publisher/editor Matthew Kressel is once again open for submissions:

Sybil’s Garage will be opening for submissions for our 4th issue on September 4th, 2006.   What we’re looking for hasn’t changed all that much.  We accept all works of speculative fiction (science fiction, fantasy, horror, slipstream, etc.), but we have a tendency to prefer the strange. Interpret that as you will, or seek out our previous issues to see what we mean. But we’re a friendly bunch; if you’re not sure, please send it our way anyway.

Stories should be no greater than 5000 words. We will also look at non-fiction, book & film reviews, and poetry.

Also, our submission process has changed.  We now have an online submission form.  A link to that form will be made available on September 4th.

Full guidelines available here.

We look forward to reading your submissions!

It’s a small zine, but it’s published some quality stuff, and has a nice, quirky sensibility about it.  Submit something, why don’tcha?

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So, I received the first submission to the Shimmer special pirate issue today. And only 115 days early! Haven’t read it yet, and I don’t know who it’s from since the Shimmery folk at Shimmer have a Submissions Wrangler who strips all manuscripts of identifying material. I’m looking forward to checking it out, but don’t let that encourage you all to submit now (instead of, you know, during the submission period).

Also arriving today, and bringing considerable glee, were two review books I’ve eagerly been anticipating: Wings to the Kingdom by Cherie Priest, and The Android’s Dream by John Scalzi. Gah, too much good stuff to read! (I know, I know–what a terrible problem to have.)

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On Tuesday night, I attended an event called “An Evening With Harry, Carrie & Garp” at Radio City Music Hall, which was a benefit reading by J.K. Rowling (Harry), Stephen King (Carrie), and John Irving (Garp).  The event was put on to benefit The Haven Foundation and Doctors Without Borders. 

I was up in the cheap seats; in fact, I was just about as far away from the stage as you can be and still be inside Radio City (there was one row behind me).  Stephen King read his story “The Revenge of Lard Ass Hogan” (which is itself part of the story “The Body,” which was filmed as Stand By Me).  If you saw the movie, you might remember it: it’s the story about the fat kid at the pie eating contest.  It’s a great story to read live, because of all the groans (because it’s gross) and laughs (because gross can be funny) it provokes from the audience.

J.K. Rowling read a bit from the latest Potter book; the section she read had Harry going back in time to witness Tom Riddle’s acceptance into Hogwarts.  John Irving read part of his novel A Prayer for Owen Meany.  Rowling did a great job with her reading; she was very natural and confident, and the portion she read worked fine for me, even though I haven’t read the books, so it was a good selection.  Irving’s reading was good as well, though it was a bit awkward hearing him do a falsetto voice for Owen Meaney; it was really necessary considering Owen’s character, but Irving didn’t quite pull it off — it was a bit too hammy for my liking.  The excerpt he read was entertaining, but slight; I know the book’s much more profound than the bit he read, but I guess he wanted to go with something more light and amusing. 

Whoopi Goldberg did the primary introduction to the event, and a bunch of other “surprise guest” presenters introduced the authors themselves.  Whoopi was pretty lame; it was clear she hadn’t even read the script before getting up to the podium.  She was reading it off the teleprompter, but kept stumbling over her lines, and even mocked the script at one point after reading something clunky (and immediately afterward, she proceeded to skip ahead a bit).  Whoopi claimed to have read every one of the authors’ books, so I guess that’s why she was there.

Kathy Bates was there to introduce Stephen King, appropriate since she’s his “#1 Fan.”  Andre Braugher introduced John Irving; why, I don’t know.  I guess they couldn’t get someone from one of his movies?  Jon Stewart introduced J.K. Rowling, which also didn’t make much sense, but he was funny and charming, even if he did recycle a joke about Mel Gibson’s drunken anti-Semitic rant from the previous night’s The Daily Show.

After the readings were done, there was a brief Q&A period, MCed by Soledad O’Brian.  Rowling got some good questions by detail-obsessed fans, but King’s and Irving’s questions were all pretty stock.  King’s in particular were lame.  He got “What scares you?” and “How do you write those crazy stories (without being demented yourself)?”  Yeah, like Stephen King has never heard *those* questions before.  Soledad claimed that they had received over 1000 questions for the panel (asked in advance, via email by ticketholders); if those were the best they got, I’d hate to see what the other ones were like. 

My only real complaint about the event though was the sound; maybe it was just because I was sitting so freaking far away, but I had a hard time hearing some of the authors and presenters at times.  There wasn’t much amplification going on, it seemed.  Oh, and I wished that the authors had read something new or unpublished–something from a forthcoming work, rather than stuff already in print. 

But, overall, a fun event, for a worthy cause.  And as Stephen King pointed out: it’s pretty cool to have filled Radio City Music Hall not with the promise of guitars, but with the promise of words.

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